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Saturday, April 6, 2013

Win or lose?

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Win or lose?

Today's topic is not about competition or contest. It's about conversation.

It is inevitable to ignore conversation and has becoming one of the important delivery mode among society in order to move and evolve, despite the addition of facial expressions and body languages. I'm not going to explain more about it but I would like to emphasise on healthy conversation. Making such conversation, we can boost up our knowledge and correct others from mistakes and misunderstanding. But what if a conversation turns into a debate, naturally?

Now, it's becoming a 'healthy debate'? I'm not sure there's such word but it's does not related to HEALTH  debates. So I hope I make it clear.

In order not to reveal anyone, I should mention the person as an acquaintance, A. There is a situation (hardly a situation where it happens quite often thought) where conversation starts like usual days. Conversation from hottest news in current society, political issues and others were the topics. When the time comes right, A will start to pop up with questions which leads to his disagreement.

We can't stop someone from disagreeing some points as they might speak up something which is true and making sense. Hence, people will evaluate the points based on their knowledge and experience. Some will agree and some will not.

The situation will get sticky when A starts to disagree all the way. A is a person who is consistent and bold with his words which most of people thinks it's a strength where else I think it's a flaw.


Simple, the statements made in the early talk were indeed true and understandable but A loves to start statements which are nonsense and disagreed by most of people in the conversation after a few moments. Suck isn't it when we had person like A to talk with? If there's someone who stop him, A will be more stern on his points and keep talking in order to support his stand. The 'someone' here would be me, mostly because I really can't stand a person who talk craps continuously and want to move the conversation back to positive manner.

Can you see the healthy conversation is turning into a debate? Luckily, it doesn't turn out to be an argument or else it would be a very bad moment for me and others. As a persistent person, A will not give up until he wins the 'debate'. When he does, he will eventually utter, "Yeah, I win!". And he likes it, very much.

I care less who the person wins or loses because it is a conversation in the beginning. It is him that make the whole thing became a debate. The 'conversation' ended abruptly and turns out to be uninteresting because of a participant like A. It's like passing a ball around and someone have the ball on his own and not passing it to others.

If he can't win the debates, A will bring something negative about his opponent in order to cover up his losse and try to get his winning back. It's more like competition, as I said like a debate.

I'm not sure A notices bad things were piling up to himself and it's not a good sign. No one will start to talk with him or bring him into conversation and it's kinda sad when he is not being invited, more likely as an outcast. If you can't win something, just lose it by accepting people's point of view but not with a person who thinks his points are definitely correct without doubts or indeed crap.

True or false, there is always a balance like Yin and Yang. Not everything will be the right ones and wrong. We have to understand there is a point of moderation on every 'Yes' and 'No'. We cannot be very bold on an issue or too soft by letting it go. Just go average, a balance.

About the winning and losing, it's not important to win everything as we human are not perfect to win every moments. First, don't anticipate to win or lose as we might be on either sides. Secondly, please do not declare yourself as a winner where people look at you as a "winner freak" and never ever proud of it. Lastly, do not back up your loses by pointing out someone's weaknesses and make it as a strong point. It will make others to hate you more and in the end, you will become a loner.

No conversation = No social life = Forever alone.

I don't want to voice out the criticism to such person as they will 'fight' for their stand eventually. The only way to curb this bad attitude is when everyone starts to point out this issue to him. Majority rules by the way.

When you are deemed to be in the losing side, just suck it up and be proud. Being a loser is not a bad idea as we will learn from mistakes and these experiences are invaluable and no one will teach us but time. Don't try to act up and end the conversation abruptly when you can't disagree more on people's voice. Pointing out someone weakness necessarily proofs that you are a person who lack of confidence and self-esteem. Not everyone can accept negative things when it's not the right time to be discussed.

Respect other's opinion and try to think twice before you speak. Every words matter. Voicing out your words is like throwing several stones in a pond. The lighter you throw, the wave produced are smooth. Same goes to your conversation, smooth conversation.

Here's a song for those who can't win. Just "let it be" and everything will be just fine. :)

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